Remember that moment when you turned to your partner and said, “I want to have a baby.”  It was so matter of fact, and your partner either agreed or sank through the chair hopeful that the rythym method really did work.  You both were green, oblivious to the world of IF.  I mean hey didn’t every single person on TV always get pregnant exactly when they wanted to, or in the case of teens, the first time they had sex?  Isn’t this supposed to happen in the real world as well?  OK well when it didn’t happen the first time, you were bummed but these things take time and practice no?  5 cycles go by and you’ve already spent $400.00 on super sensitive home pregnancy tests and now your beginning to wonder.  At the 12 month mark, your not so green anymore and can recite TCOYF verbatim, your spouse has to pry your basal thermometer from your cold dead hands. You stopped shaving your legs 3 months ago and your latest foreplay move is to wave a positive ovulation predictor pee stick in your spouses face and saying tonight we’re on baby.  Then you wait, you begin peeing on HPTs at 3 dpo(by now you’ve wised up and bought the cheapies from the internet, you save the good stash when you get a promising evap from the cheapies).. You buy high watage lights, scanner equipment and your a wiz at photoshop searching for lines on the tests.  What a way to stroll down memory lane… Years of heartache and pain washed away with one simple word.  Adopt.

OK we know this process is long, it will be probably 2 years before we see the son we are to open our family to.  We know there is paperwork that could fill the nursery to be completed, and checked and apostilled and copied a million times over.  We know we have to be examined by social workers to ensure we aren’t unfit.  We have to kidproof the house.  We have to come up with the cash.  And then we have to wait……..  But for now the hope is there, and the newness of it all. I feel like Tertias Newbie Barbie standing over here sprinkling my babydust wearing my rose tinted spectacles thinking everything is going to go sooo smoothly.  Its ok I know the new barbie smell doesn’t last very long.

Don’t we look like we could be the cleavers?

We took this picture for our dossier, thought it might make us look somewhat normal. 

Our Family

I picked up a couple more books today, one is For love of Child Adoption stories and the second C picked out, “What to expect the toddler years” since we are hoping for a child that is between 2 and 3 years of age.

If there is one thing that has me a little panicked about all of this adoption process.  Its the homestudy.  Oh that word alone just sends trembles down my spine. The list of things to do is long.  REALLY long.  So I figured I would begin the list here. If you have ideas of other items that might be beneficial, please don’t hesitate to throw one up there.

  1. Basement
    • Organize Boxes
    • Sweep and Paint Concrete Floor
  2. Kitchen
    • Tidy cupboards
    • put rarely used items in basement pantry
    • remove all medications
    • maglock cuboards
  3. Living Room
    • Paint and secure entertainment centre
    • organize coffee table and entertainment unit
  4. Laundry/Linen/Bathrooms
    • Lock medications with maglocks
    • new shower curtain
    • organize laundry and linen shelves
  5. Master Bedroom
    • Organize closet
    • Cover cable outlet
    • Get carpet to cover run Kaycee made
  6. Nursery
    • Deflate BYOB
    • Prime for painting
    • Hang New Curtain
  7. Office
    • Organize paperwork
  8. PAINT!!!!!

Bulcsú:  Hungarian origin meaning Sollemn Farewell.

Was a heroic 7th cousin of Atilla the Hun, who died in battle around X century.

Bulcsú is the name we have chosen for our adopted son. 

This is our journal, our journey and our story to seek Bulcsú.  We have been trying to start a family for 4.5 years.  We have suffered 7 pregnancy losses and failed several fertility treatments.  Infertility has at times distanced us and many other times brought us closer together.  When our last FET ended in another chemical pregnancy, the thought of trying IVF again frightened us, but the thought of adopting a child excited us.  So the spark from that thought has turned into a flame.  When we told our parents of our intentions, they have added fuel to that fire and now it is a family quest.  C is my Dh and the last in his family to carry the name.  To have a boy is a gift of continuing C’s family name in his honour. 

We have literally just begun the process.  We are hoping to adopt from Hungary, but there is a great deal of red tape involved.  The first hurdle was to find an agency that would apply to the Ontario government for a one time licence to adopt from a country they are not licenced to adopt in (no one in Ontario has a licence for Hungarian adoptions).  Well we found one that is willing, and now we have to call the Hungarian authorities to see if they will allow an adoption to occur to Canada.  So C’s mom, fluent in Hungarian, is calling on Monday, then we have the issue of a social worker, we need to find one that is able to preform homestudies for an international adoption.  Our mothers are very excited for us. Both are looking for their ways to help, C’s mom with her Hungarian abilities and the legalities of it all, and my mom is off walking dogs to raise some extra cash for the adoption.